The pain of the crucified self

A. W. Tozer said that every Christian must learn to bear one of two pains; either the pain of double-mindedness, or the pain of the crucified self. The pain of double-mindedness is the pain of a tooth-ache that lasts a lifetime. The pain is always there, filling you with resentment, anger, and envy. The pain of the crucified self, on the other hand, is a deep, terrible, surgical pain. But once it’s over, it’s over.I’ve had this quote from Tozer laying around on my hard drive for many years, and I’ve used it in sermons before (and I used it this Sunday). In all honesty, though, I haven’t been able to trace it down via Google, and I’m starting to wonder if he really said it. Like I said Sunday, I agree with all of this quote except the last line: “Once it’s over…” Surgical pain fades away, but I think I was the reason Jesus told us to take up the cross DAILY in Luke 9:23.

Yet I can’t quibble with the underlying truthfulness of Tozer’s words about double-mindedness. I find myself seeking God in the morning, and looking out for myself by lunch. I pray and I count my money; I worship and I assess the honors people give me; I call myself a servant and then get angry when people treat me like one.

And it’s an awful way to live. O wretched man that I am!

How many Christians do you know who REALLY practice dying to self? I DO know a few. I work with at least two. I know a few others in church, and most of them are older. Is it their life-and faith-experience that makes them as they are? Or is it that my generation and the younger ones are failing to produce that kind of Christian?

October 17, 2006 · Filed Under Christ, Life

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