The New York Times published an article in December called Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying. If you’d like to take a little romance out of your Valentine’s Day, you ought to look it over.

Actually, this is a great list of the type of questions I ask (or need to ask) on that first interview of pre-marital counseling. The Times list contains some good ones from the romantic (”Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?”) to the practical (”Will there be a television in the bedroom?”)

I always ask both people to answer individually (on paper, without help from their partner), “Where/how will we spend Christmas this year?” If both assume they’ll spend it with their own family, there could be a significant problem. Also, the only time I ever got a derisive laugh during a sermon was when I suggested that people who are older than 25 (to pick an arbitrary number) should think about doing a credit and criminal record check on their intended. It isn’t romantic, but if someone is dragging a troubled past into the marriage, full-disclosure is the best way to go.

I found this list through the wonderful Lifehacker blog, and in the comments there you’ll find some more good questions for you (or your child) to ask of that apparent soul-mate.