I heard a preacher say once that Christians can never have a bad experience. His point was that God can redeem anything, a la Romans 8:28. Bloggers have an added advantage in that bad experiences make good copy.

I have recently been trying to get information on visiting a prisoner at the Knox County Detention Facility in Knoxville, Tennessee. I have been bothered in the past that government agencies that don’t have a profit-motive can get away with treating people badly. This seems especially so in jails and prisons where (it seems to me) people get into the habit of talking down to everyone as if we were all criminals.

With that prejudice in mind, I called the Knox County Sheriff’s Office to find out about visitation. A male voice blurted out a rapid, unintelligible greeting. When I told him what I needed, he politely offered to transfer me to the jail (er, Detention Facility), which set me on my journey…

Wednesday, August 1 - 11:09-11:10 a.m. - 25 unanswered rings. I can only assume a jailbreak. But I at least know to call the Detention Facility first.

Thursday, August 2 - 9:05 a.m. - A woman blurts out a standard greeting, then shows good-natured confusion at my request to find out about how and when I can visit a prisoner (maybe they call them customers?) Finally she transfers me to the lobby, where another woman blurts out another greeting, then in response to my question, tells me to “please hold”. I do. For ten minutes, during which I edit the church bulletin. Finally someone briefly picks up the phone (I can hear room noise) and hangs it up.

Thursday, August 2 - 9:16 a.m - I call back. After 12 rings, a woman answers, and when I ask about visitation, she recites the visiting hours (too fast for me to write them all down). Then she asks: “Are you on the person’s list?” “I think so,” I say. How do I find out?” Boom, she transfers me back to the lobby where the same woman from the first call answers. This time she has a new question for me: “How long has he been here?” I tell her. “Hold on!” and I’m back on hold. This time, after about eight minutes, someone picks up but says nothing. I think I’ve discovered a culture where the caller speaks first, so before they can hang up, I say: “Are you there?” A male voice says: “Yes”. “Well, I’m trying to find out about how to visit an inmate there.” “Who is this?” he demands. I give him my name and he politely asks me to call back after 11. “I’m in the middle of visitation here.” So I get his name and hang up.

So, I’ve invested 20 minutes or so, only to find out when to call back and who to ask for. (Of course it was “after 11″ when I called yesterday, and no one answered). Everything I have learned so far (including my scribbled, partial notes on visiting hours) is the kind of stuff that websites are tailor-made for, but “Corrections” has only a phone number and address on the Sheriff’s website.

To their credit, no one has been impolite, just businesslike. I’m sure (jailbreak jokes aside) these folks are understaffed and extremely busy. AND making things smooth for the family and friends of prisoners just isn’t a high priority.

I’ll let you know how it turns out.

Update: I called back around 11:10 a.m. A woman answered and I asked for my contact. She went off the line, and then answered again a minute later. I asked for my contact again, and she transfered me to his department. The guy who answered said something unintelligible, then transferred me…to the guy who told me to call back after 11. Finally! He got some information from me about who I am and who I want to visit, and then he said: “You need to go through Programs. I’ll get you their number.”

So I called Programs and got right through to a very pleasant-sounding woman. She at first said that I could probably just show up at visiting hours, but then seemed to change that and told me that she would have someone call me back to tell me about going through orientation. So I’m waiting.

For contrast, check out the good web information for the jail in Knox County, Ohio (near my home town). I found this in my first Google search and mistook it for Knox County, TN, and thought: “This is going to be a breeze!”

Update 2: Friday, August 3 - 3:39 p.m. I know know the visiting hours. I called a little while ago and a woman barked at me to hold. After six minutes, she came back on and snapped out the visiting hours. So now I know when people visit, but I have no idea if just anyone can visit, or if I can visit. It looks like it will take the hour drive over there to find out.

Update 3:  Monday, August 6.  Got hold of the right guy today.  It turns out I was “terminated” from my friend’s visitation list since I’m not immediate family, so if I had just showed up (as one sheriff’s employee advised me) I would have been out of luck.  But today, the guy I talked to set me up with my one free pastor’s appointment, so I’m scheduled to go to jail later this week!