The importance of the truth
I met a woman last month who is in her 50s. When she was 18, she attended a very strict Christian college where she got engaged to a guy who was studying for the ministry. Trouble was, this college forbade any student to be engaged.
The couple kept it a secret for awhile, but eventually word got back to the administration. So, this young woman was called before the college disciplinary board.
“We hear you got engaged,” they asked her. “Is this true?”
She thought about her answer. She knew that she would probably be expelled if she told the truth. But she finally answered, “Yes”.
Then the board dismissed her and called her young man in, and asked him the same question: “Are you engaged?” He answered, “No”.
She got suspended for the semester. He got expelled entirely. More importantly, she decided that if he couldn’t tell the truth about her, he probably couldn’t be trusted to tell the truth to her either. So, she dumped him.
It ain’t exactly Ananias and Sapphira, but there is a pretty good warning/lesson here. If this had been a movie, I’m sure that the romantic thing would have been for him to lie to protect her. Maybe that’s what he thought he was doing. But in this REAL world, she saw a deep character problem revealed in his willingness to disown her before men. So she waited until she found someone who would tell her the truth…and expect it from her.
Hidden Costs
People are good at hiding from themselves the true cost of anything they really want to do.
If I want a new car, my actual reason might be as basic as the fact that Spring has infected me with new car fever. How can I justify such a purchase? Hiding certain costs from myself will help. I can ignore the increased cost of insurance, the impact of a car payment on my budget, the cost of having to worry about scratches and dents, and the cost of lost freedom that debt always brings.
Or take low prices for example. We all love them, which is why we shop at the big box stores that deliver cheap shirts and cheaper TVs. But is there a hidden cost behind low prices? If low prices require a child labor force in Malaysia or environmental catastrophe in China, or if they produce a growing underclass of low-wage workers here in America that need government help to survive, we had better count the cost up front and be ready to pay the whole thing.
What about war? It’s too easy to hide the costs of war. That’s why I appreciate an online display I found recently called Faces of the Dead. It’s simply a creative display of the photos of every U. S. service member killed in Iraq, from Jay T. Aubin on March 21, 2003 to David Stelmat on March 22, 2008. These 4,000 men and women are only part of the cost – which includes civilians, families, businesses, hopes, dreams and billions of dollars – but let’s never allow these people to be hidden.
Perhaps the essence of sin is to hide the real costs of our actions and focus on short-term pleasure or profit. If David could have seen from his rooftop the awful cost of his sin, would he have sent for Bathsheba? If Judas had known the personal price he would pay, would thirty pieces of silver have seemed like such a good bargain?
If you and I would simply take a little time and sift out the hidden costs behind our cherished sins, would we choose to live differently?
Jesus doesn’t want anyone to follow him on false pretenses. He doesn’t hide costs. He puts them out front: “Any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple”, he says in Luke 14:33. Jesus never says that discipleship will be cheap. He says that it will be worth it.
For the April 2008 MHCC newsletter – 3.25.8
Meeting personal goals by betting against yourself
I have trouble getting started on the things I’d really like to do. I have trouble doing something different tomorrow than I did today and last week. I can fill my head with good ideas and my heart with inspirational energy, but it doesn’t stop me from postponing change as long as I can.
Maybe loss aversion will. NPR recently did a story (which I found through 43 Folders) on the idea of placing bets against yourself to motivate change. The idea behind loss aversion is that many of us are far more motivated by what we have to lose than by what we could gain.
Example: I recently got overcharged 40 cents at at the Starbucks drive-through. I didn’t realize it until the window closed. Then I sat patiently for 2-3 minutes until someone noticed me. Then I went through the embarrassment of showing how important that 40 cents was to me (they were cool about it, BTW). All in all, it took about five minutes to fix it. But I couldn’t just drive away! If someone offered me a chance to earn 40 cents by spending five minutes sitting at a drive-through, there is no way I would do it. But I did it to keep from LOSING 40 cents.
Now let’s say I want to lose some weight - about 18 pounds would be good, at the pace of a pound a week. Instead of promising myself a new iPod when I reach my goal, I could tap into the motivating power of loss aversion, and make myself pay a price if I fail to lose a pound in a given week - maybe an anonymous $20 gift to someone I don’t like. 
If my 40 cent battle at the drive-through is any indication, losing something may be far more motivting.
The NPR article mentions a web site devoted to loss aversion. I actually visited the site, and almost went through the process of making myself accountable to run a marathon. The site asked me to choose the race and date, to pick someone to hold me accountable (it was going to be John H.) - AND to pledge to make a donation to a distasteful political or social organization if I failed to meet my goal. I thought it was all a great idea. The only reason I backed out at the end was that it was a pass/fail proposition - either run the race in November, or don’t, and pay up. For something that big, I need many steps along the way.
But I love the idea, for me anyway. And if I ever get my plan together, John is the man to be my enforcer!
Good parenting, good detective work
I’m in Ohio, visiting my Mom. It’s a bit more snowy here than in Tennessee. Today Mom told me a fascinating story…
When my Dad died, my Mom had a lot of trouble sleeping. Not surprising, but thankfully, she lives in a safe neighborhood surrounded mostly by older folks. But one night Mom was awakened around three in the morning by someone ringing the doorbell about 12 times quickly. She ran to the door and opened it. She was shocked to see some things she couldn’t identify piled on her porch. No one was there.
Mom was terrified. She locked herself in the bathroom and called the police. When the deputy sheriff arrived, Mom came out and he showed her that her yard had been thoroughly rolled with toilet paper. The things piled on her porch were her lawn ornaments.
The deputy, much to his credit, did a little looking around. By following some footprints in the dew, and by ringing the doorbell of the house where they ended, he eventually found the three teenage boys who rolled Mom’s yard (and who did more serious vandalism elsewhere).
When Mom got up the next morning and looked outside, the yard was normal. Had she dreamed the whole thing? Then she saw a pick-up truck pull up. Someone’s dad (who also had his doorbell rung at 3 am - by the deputy sheriff) sat in the driver’s seat while a couple of teenage boys dragged a ladder out of the back and carried it across Mom’s yard to get a few remaining high strands of toilet paper.
Some time later, Mom’s doorbell rang again - this time during the day. A middle-aged man stood on the porch with his teenage son. The son had been brought by to issue his official apology. His father assured Mom that if she ever needed any work done around the place, she could call his son and he would definitely be right over.
We have all done stupid things without thinking about what kind of harm we might causing. The lucky ones had someone to call us on it.
“He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” Proverbs 13:24
Living with a nag
Few things are more unpleasant than living with someone who nags you all the time. I’m not referring to my lovely wife, who rarely nags (and rarely reads my blog). I’m talking about Microsoft Office.
I’m using a new version of Office to finish my sermon. I didn’t buy it - yet. It’s a test-drive version…full-featured (except I just discovered it won’t print!) and free for thirty days. It’s a superior product (though maybe a bit bloated) to others that I’m testing and I am familiar with it, having used other versions of Office for years. MS has lowered the price too, so I really should be leaning toward buying it. There’s just one problem…
Every time I save my work (and I save often - I figure that Jesus saves, and so should I) and I mean EVERY time…it tells me that this is a test-drive and that I have 29 days left, and my choices are to buy now, learn more, or be reminded later…not very much later.
This nagging is quickly filling me with a loathing for the product. A reminder now and then is good…it’ll keep me from forgetting when the test-drive ends. But the nagging! It’s killing our relationship, me and Microsoft’s.
If I had time to think on it, there’s probably a good lesson there about marriage…or parenting…or sharing our faith. But I can’t think on that now. I’ve got to save my work. Just a sec…UGGHHHHH!!!
My best life now: Joel Osteen
Today I think I’ll come out of the closet, and admit that I have become a regular listener and, yes, a fan, of Joel Osteen, the smiling preacher and bestselling author from Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas.
I haven’t read his books, and I don’t watch him on TV, but I listen to his sermons while I run - 7 or 8 of them over the past several weeks - and (here’s something I rarely say) my life is better because of it.
This doesn’t mean that I endorse everything Joel says, or everything he ever has said, or what he is probably saying right now to make me regret this. Those who criticize Joel for preaching Christianity lite are partially right, though not as right as they think.
Here’s how I like to put it: No Christian should listen ONLY to Joel. But EVERY Christian would do well to listen to him some.
No Christian should listen only to Joel. He just doesn’t get into the Scriptures enough, and there are whole sections of the Bible I can’t imagine him ever preaching on. (Sodom and Gomorrah: When God Blesses You With a Chance to Relocate!)
But every Christian would do well to listen to him some. Joel just has a way of pushing you back up on your feet and refilling your faith tank. It isn’t just positive thinking that he’s teaching, but rather faith-filled thinking. You could call it positive thinking that grows out of your identity in Christ.
In the few messages I have heard, Joel has told us (Us? He has a way of talking to a hundred thousand people one at a time) how God can help us let insults roll off us, how to treat people more considerately, and how each of us is responsible to develop and use the talents God gave us without worrying about the talents he didn’t give us. It’s simple stuff, profoundly preached, and it inspires people to live better lives.
I need to learn from that. Even if I think I preach the Bible more completely than Joel, I want to learn from him how to hone in on inspiration and life-change. Otherwise, why preach?
PS - I also get regular doses of Rob Bell and Andy Stanley too.
Keeping ego out of it
I was filling out the roll sheet last night in the Kindergarten through Second Grade class at church. I asked one girl how to spell her name. I should add here that I am sensitive to name-spelling because my last name is so often misspelled (pluralized). So I said, “Do you spell your name ‘K-R-I-S-T-A’?”
She said: “You CAN spell it that way if you want, but I always spell it ‘C-H-R-I-S-T-A’.”
If I was in a bad mood, I’d make this an illustration on relativism. But today I see it as a good lesson in self-forgetfulness.
Excellence in motion: Ryan Hall
I got up early Saturday morning to watch the men’s Olympic Marathon trials on the internet. (If you have to ask why, I can’t explain it to you ). NBC seemed to have technical difficulties for the first hour, so by the time I made my connection, the leaders were approaching the halfway point on a beautiful course that consisted almost entirely of laps through Central Park in New York City.
For miles 13, 14, 15 and 16, five men ran extremely close together at the front, and I tried to identify runners that I had barely heard of but had read about in the pages of running magazines. But along about mile 17, as the lead pack began an uphill climb, Ryan Hall decided to shift into a higher gear. He waved to the camera truck to speed up, and then Hall turned it up a notch and quickly the other four men began to shrink into the background.
From that point on, Ryan Hall never seemed to be working hard and he never slowed down. As he sailed through miles at a 4:40 and 4:50 pace, he was the embodiment of a person doing what he was born to do. Hall finished the marathon in 2:09:02 shattering the old trials record and beating all other competitors by a couple of minutes.
There is a lot to like about Ryan Hall. He’s tall, blond, Stanford-educated, and very upfront about his Christian faith. Runner’s World editor Amby Burfoot says Hall will be one of the most hyped athletes on the 2008 Olympic team. But Saturday was all about Hall’s remarkable running, a God-given talent that Hall, with thousands of hours and miles run, has shaped into athletic poetry.
……………………………….
Early in the race, 28-year-old elite marathoner Ryan Shay collapsed and died. Amby Burfoot has written a remarkable reflection on this tragedy (and on Ryan Hall) here.
The way I see it: Quotes about kids
On a friend’s Starbucks cup recently there was a great quote about heaven that I’m planning to use in Sunday’s sermon. Starbucks maintains a collection on their website of their recent coffee cup quotes. I waded through a few of them this morning and found three extra-good ones about children:
“Do not kiss your children so they will kiss you back but so they will kiss their children, and their children’s children.” Noah benShea, Poet, philosopher and author… Great advice for parents who love with strings attached.
Maybe you’ve heard of the “One Laptop Per Child” initiative, which aims to give every kid in the world a cheap, basic laptop. In response, Colin Powell says: “All children need a laptop. Not a computer, but a human laptop. Moms, Dads, Grannies and Grandpas, Aunts, Uncles – someone to hold them, read to them, teach them. Loved ones who will embrace them and pass on the experience, rituals and knowledge of a hundred previous generations. Loved ones who will pass to the next generation their expectations of them, their hopes, and their dreams.”
And then, this bit of sage cynicism: “Give me world politics, gender politics, party politics or small-town politics … I’ll take them all over the politics of youth sports.” Brenda Stonecipher, City council member and Starbucks customer in Everett, Washington.
Phone hell: Knox county jail
I heard a preacher say once that Christians can never have a bad experience. His point was that God can redeem anything, a la Romans 8:28. Bloggers have an added advantage in that bad experiences make good copy.
I have recently been trying to get information on visiting a prisoner at the Knox County Detention Facility in Knoxville, Tennessee. I have been bothered in the past that government agencies that don’t have a profit-motive can get away with treating people badly. This seems especially so in jails and prisons where (it seems to me) people get into the habit of talking down to everyone as if we were all criminals.
With that prejudice in mind, I called the Knox County Sheriff’s Office to find out about visitation. A male voice blurted out a rapid, unintelligible greeting. When I told him what I needed, he politely offered to transfer me to the jail (er, Detention Facility), which set me on my journey…
Wednesday, August 1 - 11:09-11:10 a.m. - 25 unanswered rings. I can only assume a jailbreak. But I at least know to call the Detention Facility first.
Thursday, August 2 - 9:05 a.m. - A woman blurts out a standard greeting, then shows good-natured confusion at my request to find out about how and when I can visit a prisoner (maybe they call them customers?) Finally she transfers me to the lobby, where another woman blurts out another greeting, then in response to my question, tells me to “please hold”. I do. For ten minutes, during which I edit the church bulletin. Finally someone briefly picks up the phone (I can hear room noise) and hangs it up.
Thursday, August 2 - 9:16 a.m - I call back. After 12 rings, a woman answers, and when I ask about visitation, she recites the visiting hours (too fast for me to write them all down). Then she asks: “Are you on the person’s list?” “I think so,” I say. How do I find out?” Boom, she transfers me back to the lobby where the same woman from the first call answers. This time she has a new question for me: “How long has he been here?” I tell her. “Hold on!” and I’m back on hold. This time, after about eight minutes, someone picks up but says nothing. I think I’ve discovered a culture where the caller speaks first, so before they can hang up, I say: “Are you there?” A male voice says: “Yes”. “Well, I’m trying to find out about how to visit an inmate there.” “Who is this?” he demands. I give him my name and he politely asks me to call back after 11. “I’m in the middle of visitation here.” So I get his name and hang up.
So, I’ve invested 20 minutes or so, only to find out when to call back and who to ask for. (Of course it was “after 11″ when I called yesterday, and no one answered). Everything I have learned so far (including my scribbled, partial notes on visiting hours) is the kind of stuff that websites are tailor-made for, but “Corrections” has only a phone number and address on the Sheriff’s website.
To their credit, no one has been impolite, just businesslike. I’m sure (jailbreak jokes aside) these folks are understaffed and extremely busy. AND making things smooth for the family and friends of prisoners just isn’t a high priority.
I’ll let you know how it turns out.
Update: I called back around 11:10 a.m. A woman answered and I asked for my contact. She went off the line, and then answered again a minute later. I asked for my contact again, and she transfered me to his department. The guy who answered said something unintelligible, then transferred me…to the guy who told me to call back after 11. Finally! He got some information from me about who I am and who I want to visit, and then he said: “You need to go through Programs. I’ll get you their number.”
So I called Programs and got right through to a very pleasant-sounding woman. She at first said that I could probably just show up at visiting hours, but then seemed to change that and told me that she would have someone call me back to tell me about going through orientation. So I’m waiting.
For contrast, check out the good web information for the jail in Knox County, Ohio (near my home town). I found this in my first Google search and mistook it for Knox County, TN, and thought: “This is going to be a breeze!”
Update 2: Friday, August 3 - 3:39 p.m. I know know the visiting hours. I called a little while ago and a woman barked at me to hold. After six minutes, she came back on and snapped out the visiting hours. So now I know when people visit, but I have no idea if just anyone can visit, or if I can visit. It looks like it will take the hour drive over there to find out.
Update 3: Monday, August 6. Got hold of the right guy today. It turns out I was “terminated” from my friend’s visitation list since I’m not immediate family, so if I had just showed up (as one sheriff’s employee advised me) I would have been out of luck. But today, the guy I talked to set me up with my one free pastor’s appointment, so I’m scheduled to go to jail later this week!
